Earlier this year my husband of three years and best friend of twelve years, asked me for a divorce. You know him better as Fox: Panda’s partner in photography, travel and adventure.

Well… not anymore.

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Divorce is something I never expected because we had always been happily married and secure in our love… but as I found out, he didn’t feel the same way. Its been a few months now since he asked me and I begrudgingly agreed but I am learning that there are certain wounds that never heal, certain hurts that never leave you alone; like a broken bone that heals wrong and always twinges when it’s about to rain. Every time I reach to twirl my wedding ring around my finger, its absence sets off a wave of hurt and then there are the times where I want to tag him in something he would like on Instagram… its a physical pain that threatens to overwhelm. As you can imagine, the last few months have been excruciating but this post isn’t actually about all of that. My pain is my own to wade through and make sense of.  But as I come to terms with my new future, I wish Fox every happiness in the world including a happily ever after even though- I now know- it won’t be with me.

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